Im confused how can i make things better?

Ok i have been with this boy since i was 15 his name is Ben (since 2005) we was great until 2009 when he got sent to prison for 3 years (only did 1 year and 6 months) i said id wait for him thinking it was gonna be easy, well i was wrong i mean iv seen ben everyday lived with him and now he was gone e wud ring me daily send me letter but i was just missing the cuddles the actual company the going out for dates.... i waited for a year then i found company in a boy mate called liam until we kissed, i thought liamwas somin i needed, i needed the company the love everything ben could not give me but not out of choice, so i decided to end it with ben, well he come out prison in september 2010 i contacted him we met up and i knew i made the biggest mistake but i didnt wanna rush back in to us cos we both had changed i mean we havent spoken for 6 months.... so we just got to know eachother again... i ended thing with liam... started seeing ben and was great.... till he said he wanted to go clubbing and drinking and that what got him sent to prison in first place so i was scared id lose him all over again so we argued cos of it.... during this time i found out i was pregnant in february he wanted to keep it but we was dIcussing the situation... but the whole going out drinking etc.. was still there so arguments and disagrements were there and then in march he ended us... saying he doesnt want us no more etc... so i sat myself down and thought ok he wants drink and clubbing now and then well thats his choice i will stand by him but if he put himself in that situation of prison then i will walk away... so i approched him but he didnt wanna no anymore...he said iv just rele hurt him that sex isnt as special we lost our virginaties together and been together since i was 15 and he was 18... (dw i waited till i was 16 till i had sex) but now i had sex with liam it ruined it well now we are in May... things are kind of looking up... since march iv tried my hardest to win ben back.... i went to see him and wen were together we are great like we r meant but he doesnt no what he wants or feels he said all i no is i love you... and he said its not that we aint good together its just the betray of u leaving me for someone else etc... and he doesnt know if he can get over that.. but now we are in may and spent a few days alone we were good and he said yeh lets see how it goes it wont b how it was cos i aint as committed as i once was u have got alot to prove and im fine with that... cos i know he is all i want for life and i dont want no one else but i just feel since i did wat i did im making all the effort to make us good and he just gonna not... i duno if im asking to much to soon... Ben is rele sensitive wen it comes to us... he loves me i no that.. i just dont want to push it... everyone says to him let it go lifes to short but i dont no if he can let it go.... i went down there on friday to saturday night and he was giving hints like if we did make a go of things and u move down here we wud be well ok for money blabla... then talking bout holiday and said maybe ill take u away...then wen we are intimate his like u got an amazing body we cant get better than this.. the chemistry with sex is maybe better...i went back home saturday night and my sister goes omg lisa have u seen facebook well liam gone and put "Lucy and Ben go **** my ....... u trashbags" i never told liam where i was going as its nt his business so i told Ben and a day letter he texted and said Lucy i dont think us is a good idear... i said y what! he goes i thought this liam thing was old news i said it was and is i dunno why he said that and said my sis where i was.. but Ben is on probation from prison so he cannot get in trouble for the other year and a half and he is not allowed where i live or he gets sent back to prison so ben said to me i have alot more to lose this time i have a place my job etc.. he said i told myself i am not gonna let u bring my down and ur **** is....he said he is worried liam might tell police somin as i stupidly told liam what bens conditions where.... but ben is going to talk to his probation officer.... i really do think me and ben can get through this... i own up to what i did and will make it up to him...am i wanting to much from ben at such an early time?